dancing on air
by shel
Summary: quality time for bella and her soon-to-be siblings leads to both old and new worries…
1. part 1

**TWILIGHT **

**"Dancing on Air"**

by shel

© july 2008

_disclaimer__: bella, edward, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to stephenie meyer and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this tale are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too…_

_rating__: pg-13_

_summary__: quality time for bella and her soon-to-be siblings leads to both old and new worries…_

_timeline__: post-__eclipse__ (and written before the release of __breaking dawn__)…_

_archive__: please don't without expressed permission…_

_notes__:__** song credits:**__ don't worry baby (brian wilson/roger christian), surfin' u.s.a. (chuck berry/brian wilson), can't help falling in love (weiss/peretti/creatore), she's got a way (billy joel)…please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why not…and, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames…_

* * *

_**Part One**_

"You've a pretty voice."

Rosalie had spoken softly but I was still startled enough to drop all over my lap the stack of floral arrangement photos I'd been so carefully sorting. And as it fully registered that Rosalie had been complimenting _me_, the photos continued their slide to the floor while I stared back at her in shock.

"She's right; you have a very pretty voice. Now," Alice stated, matter-of-factly, "pick up those pictures and get back to work. You're supposed to be choosing an arrangement for the church's ladies' room."

The end of her statement was lost to Emmett's shouts as he destroyed Jasper's last something or other on the video game they played while, simultaneously, I lost my balance in reaching for the pictures on the floor and fell off the chair.

Four vampires now shifted their focus solely to me and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. "It's only a matter of time, you know," I muttered. The day was fast approaching when my clumsiness would no longer be an issue.

"Unless that will be your enhanced trait," Emmett teased. "Imagine the holes you'll leave in the floor."

"Shut up, Emmett," I growled as I got to my feet.

"Nice…" Emmett grinned, "Sounds almost like the real thing."

"She's been practicing," Jasper pointed out. He sounded almost proud of me.

"There are times our younger brother deserves every last growl," Emmett laughed.

Jasper nodded his head in complete agreement, "You've _no idea_ just how much he frustrates her."

I growled again though I wasn't sure how much of it was in Edward's defense or how much because I agreed with them. Just because it was _my_ stupid idea to maintain most stupid boundaries until we were married didn't mean I wasn't still left frustrated every time Edward pulled away from me. Thank God the day was fast approaching when _that_ would no longer be an issue too.

As I finished gathering the photos from the floor, I heard Alice chiding me, "Bella, you've _got_ to learn how to take a compliment."

I don't have a problem when it's deserved but I didn't tell her that as I glared at her. I dumped the pile of photos on the table in front of her not caring that some fell into her lap. She merely giggled and I walked away in a huff, not quite missing the edge of the chair as I stalked by. Emmett burst into laughter as I rubbed my sore hip.

"Whatever happened to Charm Schools and lessons for being graceful?" Rosalie sighed as she set her magazine aside and left her spot on the sofa behind Emmett to sit next to Alice. "Young ladies learned to behave as young ladies," she commented as she began sorting through the pictures.

I growled at her too, momentarily forgetting how pleased I was that she seemed to be softening towards me now that she understood how determined I was to truly join their family, despite all her efforts to convince me otherwise. "How'd you hear me anyway? Between Jasper and Emmett, I barely heard myself, not that I was aware I was even humming until you so helpfully pointed it out."

"You weren't humming, you were singing," Alice corrected with a smile. "And don't bother denying it because we all heard you. And stop with the blushing, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"It's not like I'll ever be the next _American Idol_," I acknowledged.

"Who was thinking about that?" Emmett shrugged. "It was pretty, nothing more, nothing less."

I sighed again. He didn't understand. He probably had a terrific singing voice. As if on cue, he picked up where I'd been interrupted in my humming of the _Don't Worry Baby_.

"_Oh, what she does to me, when she makes love to me_," he leered at his wife.

I tried not to notice Rosalie's reaction and simply tune out the rest of his singing, for which Alice joined in harmony. I rolled my eyes at their perfection.

"Surprising you're familiar with the song," Rosalie said to me. "The Beach Boys were nearly two generations before you and I didn't think Edward enjoyed the surfing craze."

"With that wall of music, it'll probably take another century to cycle back to that group," I smiled shyly, uncomfortable in teasing Edward to his siblings when he wasn't around. "Actually, my mom's a bit eclectic in her music tastes so I heard quite a bit of the sixties stuff growing up. Some songs stuck with me better than others."

"I surfed once in New Zealand," Emmett reminisced. "Water was a bit rough but it was way cool."

Rosalie laughed, "Until you were wiped out by that wave and the board splintered when it hit you on the head. And that poor shark that followed thinking you'd make a nice snack…"

"Let me guess," I inquired of him, "you had shark for lunch that day?"

"Hunting lesson number one, Bella, half the fun is when they bite you first," Emmett winked.

Rosalie moved in a blur to whap her husband in the chest. "Edward will bite _you_ if you keep that up."

"Ever tried surfing, Bella?" Jasper inquired, distracting his "twin" for the moment.

"I'm going to need to learn," I sulked, knowing they'd never continue the hunting conversation now. "Why not now?"

"So what about surfing?" Emmett asked under his wife's withering glare. "Nothing like the sensation of being one with the water."

I caught all of his siblings rolling their eyes and laughed. "Are you kidding? I can barely balance myself on a solid floor, you want me to try it on a skinny board in the ocean?" This time, I didn't mind their laughter and admitted, "A couple of years ago on one of my summer visits with my dad, he went surfing, said he'd always wanted to try, but he didn't need to convince me to stay on the beach."

"_If everybody had an ocean_," Emmett sang, "_across the U.S.A., then everybody'd be surfing, like Califor-nigh-ay_…"

I smiled despite the fact that the whole conversation was beginning to bother me, not specifically the surfing or singing or even the hunting, but the consequences of my decision. What if I was wrong about becoming more graceful, more like them, after I was changed? What if Emmett was right and I'd only prove to be more clumsy? What if every trait I was hoping would improve for the better would only improve for the worst? What if I would still be unable to rival them for anything, not in looks, not in abilities? Would there be resentment, on either side? And, could I handle it for eternity?

I slumped down in the other chair next to Alice and noticed Rosalie watching at me. I was beginning to recognize the look. Generally it was on Alice's face just before I would find myself caving to her latest plan. "What?" I warily asked.

"Edward doesn't know you can sing, does he…"

"I _can't_ sing," I stated. So it's not like the topic ever went further during his many interrogations on my life before him.

"Oh, Rose, that's wonderful," Alice suddenly clapped with glee.

"What?" Emmett rubbed his hands together, "Is it _that_ good? Then I want in!"

"No!" I gasped as my mind reeled in horror at what Rosalie's plan might be. "Whatever it is, no! And, Jasper, cut that out!" I fought the calm waves he was sending me. This was no time for me to calm down. "Absolutely not, Alice!"

"Now Bella, it's a wonderful idea, truly…" Alice encouraged with a smile.

"Don't be like this, Bella," Rosalie instructed as she flipped through some of the papers in front of her. "Where is that playlist, Alice, so we can make the changes?"

"Changes?" I gasped again. "Do you know how long it took us to agree on that list? No, no changes!" I pushed my chair back and stumbled towards Jasper and Emmett. "Do something!"

"We are," Emmett smiled slyly. "We're watching you all weekend until Edward gets back from hunting with Carlisle and Esme."

"Don't let her out of your sight or else," Jasper nodded in mock seriousness, repeating Edward's last words to them.

"You know the opportunity to surprise Edward doesn't come along very often. So you need to grab it when it comes knocking," Alice sternly advised.

I stood in an angry stance, arms folded across my chest, "The playlist is fine just as it is. Besides, Edward will hear your thoughts and he won't agree if I don't. And I _don't_."

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Jasper chuckled, "after all this time hanging around with us, don't you trust us to know how to keep our thoughts from him when we need to?"

"Whose side are you on, anyway?" I snapped.

"You, Bella Swan," Rosalie declared as she purposefully strode over to me, "_are_ going to serenade your husband at your wedding and that's all there is to it."

But I was just as determined and refused to be swayed. "If I'm going to do any serenading it'll be in the privacy of our own room and since there's really no privacy in this house, I guess _that_ ends _that_." Hah.

"Oh you'll _have_ privacy," Emmett announced. "Did you really think our little brother would take you back _here_ for your wedding night _or_ for your first few weeks as a married couple?"

My mouth dropped. That's _exactly_ what I was expecting. While we were postponing the honeymoon for a few days until after my mother and Phil left, we certainly weren't going to be staying with Charlie.

"You know what he's planned," I accused as I inwardly prayed that Edward hadn't bought us a house or some other unnecessary extravagance like that. "Why am I always the last to know?"

"It's more fun that way," Emmett laughed.

As if I'd already agreed to this insane idea, Alice hugged me enthusiastically. "Guests will have tears in their eyes."

"From my lousy singing," I muttered.

"Bella…" Rosalie's voice held a warning that somehow scared me more than Alice's absurd vision of which I still had no details.

"And while you're dancing with Edward," Alice sighed happily. "Oh, Bella, it's so beautiful."

"Dancing…" I whispered. I must have paled because Rosalie immediately sat me down on the sofa. "I forgot all about that. What am I going to do? I can't dance. And with those shoes you're making me wear? I'll probably trip on the dress and if I'm lucky only break my ankle instead of my neck!"

This time Jasper tried to hide his amusement, "Relax, Bella, it's just a dance."

"And the dress will hide any missteps so you don't have to worry about anyone noticing," Rosalie assured me.

"You seemed okay at the prom," Emmett pointed out.

"Because I was standing on his feet!" I threw my hands up in exasperation and flopped down on my side. I grabbed the pillow and pressed it to my face in an attempt to make all the annoying vampires surrounding me disappear. "I knew this weekend was a bad idea."

"Regardless," Alice spoke above the laughter, "you make a beautiful couple dancing to -- oh never mind. Trust me, Bella, it'll be so --"

"What song?" Emmett interrupted. "Edward said you hadn't settled on _the_ one yet. Alice…" he growled, "'fess up."

Admittedly, I _was_ curious. I'd added some songs to the sampler CD we'd made that Edward hadn't heard yet. I peeked at Alice from beneath the pillow. "Alice?"

"You realize it's not a done deal if you both haven't already agreed," she reminded me. "If either of you change your mind or decide to surprise the other, the vision won't come true."

I slowly sat up and nodded. "Which one?" I requested. Somehow I couldn't really picture Edward agreeing to Shania Twain's _You're Still the One_ even though that song was one of my new selections.

She looked me over, "Nope, I don't think I should tell you."

"Alice!"

"Well you haven't been very agreeable with the floral arrangements."

"What does my trying to save money have to do with anything?" I frowned. "Just because I don't see why we can't re-use the aisle arrangements on the tables as centerpieces means I'm not agreeable? Really, Alice, there's no reason to keep me from knowing my own decision…Please?"

"All right," she suddenly grinned, "you twisted my arm." I rolled my eyes as she revealed, "You dance to the King."

"My man, Elvis!" Emmett cheered. "Which song? No, don't tell me. _Love Me Tender_, right? We used that one at our tenth wedding."

"Seventh," Rosalie corrected with a warm smile.

I glanced away from their personal romantic memory and shook my head. Ten weddings. I was trying to live through one! "Actually, I was thinking of _Can't Help Falling in Love_," I admitted. "The lyrics seemed to fit so well."

"Would that be the part about fools rushing in or the part about taking your whole life too," Emmett teased before turning back to his wife. "Didn't we dance to that, Rose, at our third?"

"Fourth," she smiled before blowing him a kiss.

"Either would suit you two," Jasper mused, focusing on me. "Did you ever see _Love Me Tender_?" When I shook my head, he continued, "It was set in the period of time shortly after the war. It was a fairly new song then, not Elvis's song but the one it was based on, _Aura Lee_."

It was so rare for Jasper to speak of his past, at least with me, so I was eager to hear more. "I do like the song _Love Me Tender_. It's so simple, sweet, almost sad even. But how did _Aura Lee_ go? Was it much different?"

I was sure if it would have been possible Jasper would have been blushing.

"_You_ brought it up," Alice shrugged to him with the hint of a smile.

Emmett gave his brother a playful shove, "You're not the only one who thinks they can't sing, Bella."

Before I knew what happened, I was suddenly on the opposite side of the room in the relative safety of the arms of my pixie-like friend. "A little more notice would've been appreciated, Alice," I panted as I tried to follow the vampire tornado now tearing up Esme's living room.

It was the exploding TV that brought Emmett and Jasper to a standstill. "Oh, crap," I whispered, taking in the damage. It was the TV Edward had replaced a few months ago after his own temper tantrum.

"I probably shouldn't have thrown the remote," Emmett sheepishly confessed before slapping his brother's shoulder, "Look what you caused!"

"What _I_ caused!" Jasper snarled and shoved back.

"Enough! Esme will have _both_ your heads," Rosalie seethed. She threw the remnants of a lamp at Emmett. "Esme had that rug imported! It's practically one of a kind, how are we supposed to replace it? And they'll be home in --"

"Seven hours, fourteen minutes," Alice sighed, "so we'd better start cleaning up. I'll prepare Esme a list of the best deals for replacing everything."

"Wasn't that vase a gift from Carlisle from Italy?" I murmured.

"Better idea," Rosalie suggested to her sister, "is for you and Emmett to do some shopping and get whatever you can while Jasper and I take care of the clean-up. You can always work on the list from the car."

I stepped towards the ruined sofa and offered, "I'll start by --"

"You'll start by going to bed," she directed me. "We're not about to risk you getting hurt when it was Em--"

"But it was _my_ fault," I told her. "If I hadn't --"

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella, these two are grown men," Alice pointed to their contrite spouses, "most of the time anyway, and will accept the consequences of their ridiculous actions. Now go to bed before I leave a message for Edward and tell him how uncooperative you were this whole weekend."

"You wouldn't," I glared at her.

"Try me," she challenged with that menacing grin of hers. She spun on her heel and grabbed Emmett by the elbow, "We'd better get a move on, we've got a long drive ahead of us."

"Where are you going?"

"To where the stores are still open, silly," she chirped before pecking her husband on the cheek and pushing Emmett out the front door before he could do the same to Rosalie. "Behave, Bella…see you in the morning."

I turned around with a sigh to find Rosalie already changed in a T-shirt and jeans. I never even noticed her leave. Even dressed down she looked good. "It really is too early for bed," I maintained, "and I'm not the least bit sleepy."

"Then why don't you sit over there and look over the floral arrangement photos? I believe Alice said you were supposed to choose for the ladies' room." She pointed to the table and quietly added, "It should keep you out of trouble for a bit."

"And if you're really good," Jasper noted as he rolled up his sleeves, "I might just give you a dance lesson before bed."

I was about to retort when I realized that wasn't a half-bad idea. I'd seen him dance and, given his talents, he'd probably be the _only_ one who could keep me calm and feeling less embarrassed by my lack of coordination. "Really?"

Rosalie nodded in approval. "Depending upon how fast you are to pick it up, we could probably manage a couple of the easier dances tonight."

"We still have two weeks before the wedding," I murmured, "plenty of time to practice."

"Except you're always with Edward," Jasper smiled, "so it wouldn't be much of a surprise to him now would it?"

"Unless I'm a quick study," I told him, keeping my fingers crossed in my lap.

"We'll see, Bella," Rosalie considered with an amused smile, "we'll see."

* * *


	2. part 2

_**Part Two**_

I felt his fingers weaving through my hair and sighed contentedly without opening my eyes.

"Good morning, love," Edward greeted from behind me with a kiss to the top of my head.

I smiled, rolled over and hugged him, nuzzling his chest. "Morning…How was your trip?" I asked with a yawn.

"Satisfying." He carefully rolled me onto my back and propped himself over me.

I nearly lost myself in his brilliant topaz eyes while my fingers wandered lightly across his cheeks. I smiled when he closed his eyes until I realized that he wasn't simply enjoying himself but also re-familiarizing himself with my scent after our time apart. While it certainly has been easier for him since our return from Italy, it is still something of a necessity especially after several days of separation.

"You shouldn't wait so long between hunts," I quietly instructed. "You push yourself to the limits unnecessarily."

"It wasn't so long this time," he countered, ignoring my concern, as he brushed his lips against my forehead.

He moved aside as I slowly sat up. I reached for his hand and traced imaginary circles on the back of it. "I _am_ sorry."

He quickly pulled his hand free and very lightly pressed both his palms to my cheeks. "You have _nothing_ to apologize for and I wish you would st--"

I interrupted by putting my fingers to his lips. No matter what he said to the contrary, we both knew the only reason he pushed off his hunting for as long as possible was so that I wouldn't overreact to his absence. I sighed, wishing my chest didn't still seize at the moment he left for such a necessity to his survival. "Not much longer before I can go with you," I murmured, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"No," he agreed as he lowered his lips to my neck, pausing to inhale deeply. As always, a shiver ran down my spine and I knew he noticed. I could feel his lips curve upwards ever so slightly as he kissed me again.

But as thrilled as I was that he so readily agreed to my statement, an acknowledgement of his acceptance to my decision, I could also hear the sadness behind those two letters. As much as he wanted to be with me, deep down he still wished it would happen with me remaining a human.

"I love you for eternity," I quietly declared, hoping he could find some small measure of comfort in the fact that I was truly committed to him heart and soul, no matter what his way of life.

He didn't respond other than to tighten his hold around me. And we stayed that way for a while, wrapped in each other's arms, content in our own thoughts…until my stomach traitorously rumbled.

I felt his chuckle and muttered, "Yeah, yeah, breakfast time for the human."

"Not much longer," he whispered as he placed a light kiss to my ear.

Taken aback, I gasped, "You mean that?" And suddenly I could no longer meet his gaze. While I had no doubts at all of his love for me, I hated that I still had even the tiniest bit of doubt concerning his intent to change me.

He tipped up my chin. "You are mine for the rest of my existence," he swore with another tender kiss.

It wasn't a true answer to my question but I was reluctant at the moment to push him on the issue. It _had_ been a lovely way to awaken so I smiled and tried to ease myself from his embrace in order to get dressed.

But he wasn't so quick to let me go and I found myself being gently pushed back into the soft pillows of his bed. It wasn't pushing the boundaries but it was curious given that his hand was teasing the bare skin of my waist where my pajama top had been wrinkled up. And the butterfly kisses he was giving me along my neck was only tempting me more.

And I was helpless to resist, my arms moving on their own, wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer to me. My fingers wove through his hair, tugging on the ends as I grew warmer and warmer from his icy touch. "I have to admit…"

"Yes?" he murmured, his lips too busy to form words.

I was in heaven. The bed, for all its plush luxuriousness, was heaven, and I was with no one less than an angel. A soft moan escaped me as I pressed my lips to his neck, my teeth lightly scraping his skin. I felt his body tense but ignored it as my fingers wandered to the buttons of his shirt.

"Bella…" he breathed before pulling back in an attempt to compose himself. "What do you have to admit?"

"I…I…" I paused to catch my breath, trying unsuccessfully to focus on the buttons of his shirt rather than his eyes.

My tormenter dipped for another kiss. "Yes?"

I sighed and tangled my fingers in his hair, mashing his face to mine, forgetting once again that I still needed to breathe.

Edward didn't forget and pried himself free, chuckling as I lightly panted, "Bella, Bella, Bella…when will you behave?"

"You started," I accused, pointing my finger into his chest.

He grabbed it, kissed it, and smiled as he eased away. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I could see him relaxing and wished it were that easy for me. I was tempted to leap at him when he smiled and asked, "New shampoo?"

I sighed and settled back into the pillows, knowing the window of opportunity had just closed. "Yes. See, I answer your questions so why don't you ever answ--"

"You edit," he accused me in the same teasing tone I'd just used on him.

"Rosalie suggested it, something about it complementing the freesia you seem to love." I shrugged and sat up, carefully stretching my arms in the air so as not to startle him with my movement. I glanced at him and found him smiling.

"It does," he agreed, giving me a nudge out of bed. "I should thank her."

As I pulled together my outfit for the day I told him, "You should really thank Esme. Evidently she's the one who tried it first." I stood before him, "Did you enjoy your time with them? I mean, well, you know what I mean."

He was quiet and I sat next to him while he composed his thoughts. He hadn't hunted with only Carlisle and Esme in the longest time. Although they weren't biologically his parents, they took on the roles with such grace and love and with the wedding just around the corner, I couldn't help but wonder of the parental bonding that might have occurred on this hunt.

"It was…nice," he admitted as he reached for my hand and toyed with his own mother's ring that was now firmly ensconced on my left ring finger. "It was…"

Uncharacteristic for him to be so unsure of what to say, I caressed his cheek. "You've missed your private time with them." From the look on his face, I was probably right. "You love your siblings, but there's something special about quality time with Carlisle and Esme, particularly Carlisle. You may not have been born to them but they _are_ your parents in so many ways."

He was quiet and I was afraid I'd overstepped my bounds but before I could apologize he'd brought my palm to his lips.

Timidly I continued, "Given that you've never been in this situation before, I imagine you've needed to talk to them. Were they able to put your mind more at ease about the wedding?"

"I'm not nervous about the wedding, love," he declared with a smile, sweeping some strands of hair behind my ear.

"But you are about what will happen after, and then after that," I shrugged, glancing to my lap, knowing he would know what I meant.

His eyes widened slightly before he laughed somberly, "I don't know why I'm still surprised each time you remind me of how perceptive you are." He kissed the tip of my nose and sighed, "Yes, I felt better after talking to them and, yes, I've missed my 'private time' with them. More than that, I love you and I am so very glad you have agreed to be my wife."

"Of course you are," I rolled my eyes at my extremely old-fashioned love.

"And how did _you_ sleep?"

"Why?" I warily asked, racking my brain trying to recall all possible dreams. Had I slipped and mentioned something about Jasper's lessons or that I'd be serenading him at the wedding? What if I said Jake's name? I jerked in my seat.

"Bella?" His gaze was filled with concern. "What's wrong?"

I tugged his shirt collar, "You have to tell me what I said. Are you mad? Have I disappointed you?"

"You could never do that," he pressed a kiss to my forehead, "so calm down, sweetheart. There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Then you won't have a problem telling me."

"Listen to your heart pound," he murmured before wrapping his arms around me.

I tried to relax but couldn't stop that tiny voice in my head from yelling at me that I'd somehow ruined everything.

"You mentioned your mother's name a few times and something to Alice about shoving the bouquet down the toilet."

I glanced up and noticed amusement lighting up his golden eyes. I didn't quite remember the dream but confessed, "What do they need centerpieces for in a bathroom, anyway?"

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head again. "You also lectured Emmett on being careful around expensive breakables." He tipped my chin back, "You had quite an evening, didn't you?"

"Are you upset about the TV? It was practically brand new and you Cullens always go for top-of-the-line."

I think I heard laughter from downstairs as he replied with a smile, "This wasn't the first and won't be the last TV ruined."

I pressed my face to his chest, relishing his sweet scent. "Probably why Esme hates rough-housing in the living room. How mad is she?"

"Not at all at you," he quickly insisted. "And not as mad as she would have been had you been hurt in the process."

I heard the anger in his tone and kissed his chest. "I'm fine, Edward. Alice had me across the room with plenty of time to spare." And before he could argue, I kissed him once more and pulled away. "Give me a couple of human minutes."

I slid out of bed and grabbed my pile of clothing. I could feel his eyes watching me and was probably blushing as I told him, "I'll be quick."

When I returned, I went straight to his arms for another hug.

"Would you happen to know why Emmett has been singing _Don't Worry Baby_ over and over in his mind?"

I shrugged, "He likes the Beach Boys?"

"Bella…" He'd elongated each syllable so I knew he knew I knew something was up.

"We were talking about the playlist," I sighed.

"He wanted to add a song about racing cars at our wedding?"

"It's not just about racing cars," I dropped my arms from around his waist. "It's about that feeling you have when you know someone else cares about you."

He kissed the top of my head, "What's bothering you, love?" He led me back to the bed and sat me down. "Is it Jacob?"

Oh no. For Edward to mention Jake's name, I _had_ to have said his name last night and now I've hurt Edward. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I don't remember the dream."

"What dream?"

"Last night." Now I was as confused as he seemed to be. "I didn't say his name in my sleep?" Edward shook his head. "Then why would you bring him up?"

"I thought that perhaps you'd --"

I didn't let him finish as I rushed to him, throwing my arms around him, clenching him tightly. "I'm not having any second thoughts about marrying you! Please don't --"

"Shhhh, love, I'm not going anywhere," he gently reminded me as he pried himself free. "I didn't ask because I thought you had changed your mind. Nor was it an attempt to _convince_ you to change your mind."

"You didn't?" I quietly asked, unable to look him in the eye.

"No," he assured me. "I'm concerned because no matter how much you try to hide it from me, I know you're under a lot of stress, both from the wedding and Jacob's situation. And I'm worried that it is taking its toll on you."

I tried not to choke up as I commented, "Jake left home because of me. He's hurting because of _me_. And I haven't been able to figure out how to make it better."

"Sometimes, love," he patiently told me as he wrapped me in his arms, "there isn't anything you can do. Sometimes, only time will heal the pain."

I shivered slightly as I flashed back to those months when I wasn't sure even time would heal my pain. He kissed the top of my head and I nuzzled his chest.

"There's more, isn't there?" he questioned.

I shrugged and stepped free from his embrace. I walked over to the window to stare at the morning's beautiful landscape.

"I've told you before, Bella, I'll only think the worst if you don't tell me."

I could tell from the sound of his voice that he remained on the other side of the room and I turned around to face him. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Telling me what you're thinking won't hurt me."

I shrugged again, knowing better. But also knowing he would only persist, I decided to answer. "Why'd you ask them to watch me all weekend?"

My question confused him, "Didn't you want to spend time here?"

"Of course. What I mean is, usually it's just Alice who baby-sits me or sometimes I spend time with Esme. But this time, I don't know, it seemed like you wanted me to spend the entire time with _all_ of them. And I know you would have told me if it was for my own protection because I know you know better now than to keep things like that from me. But I couldn't come up with any other reason why you were forcing _all_ your siblings to watch me. Did you have to pay off Rosalie somehow? Sorry, Rosalie," I quickly added in a whisper, knowing she could hear from wherever she was in the house. "Edward, are you…are you afraid I'll leave you if I can't get along with them?"

He stared at me as if I'd once again surprised him somehow. "If we are to spend an eternity together, Bella, then it means we will be spending much time with my siblings. So I hoped this weekend would offer you some better quality time, perhaps something of a bonding session for all of you. Did I make a mistake?"

"Oh, no, Edward," I rushed back to him, reaching for his hands, "I truly did have fun, despite Alice's annoying plans. I felt so comfortable."

"I'm glad," he sighed with relief.

"I really felt like part of the family," I assured him, giving his hands a squeeze. "But…but maybe that was part of the problem."

"Problem?" he froze.

"Not problem, really," I hastily corrected. "It's just that…" I sighed, "See this is where I might hurt you if I don't phrase it right."

"Take your time," he tenderly requested with a kiss to my lips.

"You don't have to dazzle me," I chastised. "I'm going to tell you."

He chuckled but waited for me to continue.

"It's just, well," I fidgeted, "until this weekend, I thought I only had to worry about _you_ losing interest in me but now --"

"That's utterly absurd," he snapped as he pushed himself away. He spun from me and stalked to the other side of the room. "How many times must I tell you, Isabella, that I will _never_ lose interest in you? That your hold on me is an unbreakable bond? That I will _never_ leave you unless you request it of me?"

"Never," I whispered automatically, feeling shamed for having doubted him.

He strode back to me, grabbing my face gently between his palms, forcing me to meet his blazing gaze, as he implored me, "Then, please, doubt me no longer."

"I don't mean to," I whispered, lowering my gaze.

"Ah, Bella," he sighed as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine. "Perhaps one day, I will truly atone for the pain I caused you after that day in the forest."

I brought my hands up to his face, encouraging him with my fingertips to open his eyes. "While I can repress many bad things," I told him, "I'm only human and there will be times feelings will slip through my control. But when that happens will you please try to remember that I don't blame you? That I _never _blamed you? And that all that matters is how much we love each other? And that you will forgive me for those slips?"

"Bella," Edward uttered in a hoarse voice, "you have done _nothing_ that requires earning forgiveness."

"We're quite the pair, aren't we," I softly commented.

"Perhaps we are meant to be after all," he replied before pressing a kiss to my forehead.

He led me to the sofa and pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me. I could sense his tension easing away but he was still not as carefree as he had been upon waking me. So I carefully brought my lips to meet his, not putting any pressure into the kiss, simply letting it be, and showing him a very rare instance of self-restraint.

He brushed my hair from my eyes, "Will you tell me the rest? Why feeling normal with my siblings is a problem?"

"It's not a problem, really, it's just…" I shifted to a slightly better position, "There were moments when it felt like any stranger could have been watching us and never would have known whether we were all human or all vampires. It was simply a bunch of siblings planning a wedding and playing video games and teasing each other."

The corners of his mouth quirked but he didn't truly smile as he asked, "What about the other moments?"

He tightened his hold on me as if he knew I would slip out of his arms to avoid answering. I took a deep breath, "Other times if felt as if they were simply indulging the human." I quickly pressed my hands to his chest and apologized, "I know that's not how they intended it and I don't mean any offense but…but sometimes it seems that we do things merely because it's a way for all of you to live through me, that somehow my presence is offering all of you the opportunity to relive your human experiences."

"'All of you'," he echoed, "meaning me too."

I lowered my eyes to my clenched fists, which he then held to relax them. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he quietly said, "I always want to know what you're thinking."

I tried my best to clarify, "You all seem to place so much importance on certain aspects of my human life which I know will be different once I'm changed but will still be there. You're so set on me going to college but don't you think I'll have plenty of time for college then? I know," I quickly continued, "it won't be the same experience as being human but…" I shook my head, "I'm messing this up…"

"No, Bella," he kissed my hands, "please, take your time, go on."

"Would Alice relinquish control over the flowers if I wanted to marry you again? Would Emmett still be amused if I no longer trip over thin air? What's going to happen when I'm no longer human and the novelty of me has worn off? Will they still want me?"

"You want to marry me again?"

Did he not hear everything I'd said? Did he not wonder whether I still doubted if _he_ would still want me? Of all times for _me_ to have dazzled _him_! I was so busy worrying that I wasn't enjoying his stunned reaction! And I certainly wasn't expecting his enthusiastic response when I suddenly found myself pinned to the sofa beneath him.

"You _really_ want to marry me?" he demanded with a kiss.

"Umm…" Didn't he know better than to ask questions while kissing me?

We were both left panting soon enough and I smiled shyly at him, "I thought we've already established that I want to become your wife."

"We did," he agreed with a grin, "but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy hearing you say it again and again." He carefully lifted me back to a seated position and kissed the top of my head as he cuddled me into his side. "That also doesn't mean I didn't hear the rest of your concern regarding my family. I don't know, though, what I can do to assure you that you are _not_ a novelty to them and that they _already_ consider you their sister, even Rosalie."

"I'm glad," I smiled, my voice muffled by his shirt. "I'll try not to let my nerves get the better of me," I promised.

"Perhaps we should work on de-stressing you," Edward suggested.

His eyes glittered and I knew he was up to something. "Does it involve flowers?"

"No," he laughed, "but it will hopefully ease your mind about a different aspect of the wedding. Our first dance as husband and wife."

I froze. Did he know about Jasper's lessons? Did one of them slip up? Did I? "Couldn't it wait until after breakfast?" I squeaked. His hand began stroking my back and arm.

"So tense," he murmured.

"Not if you keep that up," I sighed as I leaned into him. I wound my fingers through his hair, tugging on it as my lips claimed his.

He lifted me off the sofa but I was too caught up in the kiss to even question the soft music now playing in the background.

"I thought if we were to practice a bit, you might not be so worried," he finally said releasing me. "We have two weeks which should be plenty of time to learn a dance or two."

"Well," I smiled as I curtsied to his bow, knowing my secret was still safe, "you know what they say about practice…"

* * *


	3. epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

All my stress and anxiety led me to this point when my fingers twined with Edward's as he led me to the center of the dance floor for our official first dance as husband and wife.

All the bruises I'd suffered during my practices with him, not to mention the rare practice time I'd had with Jasper and Rosalie, had all been worth it, I decided as I watched Edward's face. He was simply radiant and my breath caught in my throat as it occurred to me once more that this picture of perfection had chosen me above all others.

He turned to me just then and, out of habit, I instinctively looked down, embarrassed to have been caught staring. He simply tilted my chin up and allowed me to gaze into his bright golden eyes.

No words were needed. I saw the depth of his love for me and I needed no further assurance. "I love you," I told him, just in case he couldn't see it in my eyes.

"May I have this dance, Mrs. Cullen?" he politely requested.

"Of course, Mr. Cullen," I replied with a tiny curtsy.

Edward's slight nod to Emmett led to the start of the music and, to my surprise, all my nerves instantly faded as my new husband placed his arm around my waist.

With only a momentary hesitance, I accompanied Elvis's singing as softly as I could. It was a compromise with Rosalie that I _would_ serenade Edward but only low enough for him to hear so as not to embarrass myself before the guests. Edward's eyes widened in surprise and I nearly skipped the next line.

"_Like a river flows surely to the sea, Darling, so it goes_," I gazed up at him, "_some things are meant to be…Take my hand, take my whole life too_," I felt his hand clench my waist ever so tightly but I continued to smile as I softly sang, "_for I can't help falling in love with you_."

His eyes shone brightly and I knew I'd chosen the right song despite Emmett's teasing about the lyrics. He kissed my forehead and I continued to sing for him until I nearly choked up at the close of the song. Butterflies were rushing my stomach again and I was suddenly afraid of his reaction once the song ended.

"Don't ever stop surprising me, love," he whispered in my ear.

I knew I was blushing and buried my face in his chest. "I'm really not that good," I mumbled, actually grateful for the applause so that no one could hear our conversation.

"You were, no, you _are_ perfect," he contradicted as he pulled away slightly, forcing me to look at him, "and, it seems," he smiled with amusement, "that we will be doing quite a bit of negotiating if you want to hear your lullaby at night."

"You don't mean," I shook my head, arguing, "this was a one-time thing, Edward."

"If you say so, sweetheart," he chuckled indulgingly.

But I couldn't retort because I realized the applause had died down and the audience seemed to be waiting expectantly as the lights dimmed over the floor except for the corner where a grand piano stood. Strange that I hadn't noticed it earlier. I looked in confusion to Edward who simply smiled as he led me to the piano.

"It seems you're not the only one offering surprises this evening," he smiled as he kissed my hand and sat at the bench.

He bent over the keys a moment before focusing solely on me as he sang, "_She's got a way about her_…"

"_I don't know what it is_," I half-sang, half-muttered, blushing once again.

He didn't miss a beat, though, and continued, "_But I know that I can't live without her_."

I couldn't take my eyes off him as he played and sang to me. This song was just as perfect for us because I felt the same way about Edward. Once again he made it so we were the only two people in the room.

And I couldn't help myself, changing Billy Joel's lyrics slightly as the words came bubbling out. "_He touches me and I get turned around_," I smiled at Edward as I finally sat next to him. "_He's got a way of showin' how I make him feel and I find the strength to keep on goin'_…"

Even I could hear that Edward missed a key and he looked back at me, smiling that crooked smile that sends my heart sputtering. Suddenly, he stepped away from the bench and pulled me into his arms in one fluid movement. Swaying with me right by the piano, he continued singing as our eyes locked, "_She's got a smile that heals me_…"

"_I don't know why it is_," I reminded him with a smile.

"_But I have to laugh when she reveals me_," he kissed the tip of my nose. "_She's got a way about her_," he repeated as if to remind me that the song was about me.

"_I don't know what it is_…" I stopped dancing as we reached the last line and I brought my hand up to his cheek while he did the same for me.

And we sang together, to each other, changing the lyrics slightly once more, "_But I only know that I can't live without you anyway_…"

And then his lips were on mine and our kiss was a promise of things to come, an eternity together.

In the recesses of my mind, I heard the audience's applause; I heard my mom crying about her baby being grown up; I heard both Phil and Charlie teasing her as well as Esme; I heard the band begin playing; and I knew we were no longer alone on the dance floor.

But I didn't care about any of that. All I cared about was the man holding me close, kissing my lips, and promising a new life for me.

"We won't miss heaven," I declared with a sigh as I pulled back and pressed my cheek to his chest, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist, "because we're already there."

"Dancing on air," he murmured in agreement. "And I promise, Bella, I won't let your feet ever touch the ground."

I gazed up at him, his smoldering eyes, and felt my own brim with tears. "I love you, Edward. Forever."

He tenderly brushed those tears away, "And I, you, my love. Now and forever."

_**the end**_


End file.
